And the Celebrity Apprentice is……………………..Clay Aiken!!

Wait. WRONG. Aresenio Hall is. Congrats. Yay…I’m so happy for you…(are you catching the sarcastic overtones here?)

Aww Clay, always a bride’s mate, never a bride. This should have been his big day (and by day, I mean night)!

In case you missed the season finale of this most recent season of The Apprentice season 12 (aka season 5 of the Celebrity edition), this is how it played out. I’ll give you the abridged version because I’m mourning not only Clay’s lost, but the lost of Aubrey’s wonderful (faux) red hair. Back to Blonde.

Trump in a race car? I guess so, why not?! Sure. Okay. For his big entrance Donald Trump and Mario Andretti zoomed through the streets of Manhattan to the Natural History Museum in a race car. Why? Oh just because he can. Wouldn’t you if you had that hook up? (probably…)

During the live finale portions of the show, there were recaps and commentary from all of these seasons players. And by all, I mean, all except Michael Andretti and Cheryl Tiegs, who were both MIA in our hearts and mind (as they’ve always have been).

The let’s review how we felt about the show before we were fired comments from the latter contestants was pretty funny. Lou Ferrigno bragged about raising $41,000 for his Muscular Dystrophy charity, post the show– and then he dropped the check excitedly in front of Trump. WHAT THE HECK?!  Are you giving him the check or something? I don’t understand!! HA! He was just so proud of himself…

Adam Corolla said that Teresa, as she sat in front of him on stage, probably thinks the word naïve is “a brand of douche”, and right there in front of him on stage, she looked as clueless as ever. (Went right. Over. Her. Head.)

Sad face moment was when the Donald asked Patricia Velásquez what was going on now, and she practically started crying about how she was having a really, really hard time raising back up the money for her charity that she lost while she was project manager. (Dear Trump: cut her a secret check or something. She’s so sad all the time. It would make her happy.)

Mean while on the show, Trump’s response was, “Well, you’re doing well. You’re doing well.”

Sad face moment award, goes to Patricia.

Okay, so about the challenge, and how they completed the big and final task at hand:

Concerning the PSA ads, it was revealed quickly that Corolla’s semi professional film crew is comprised of complete morons. They did in fact film him later on actually looking at the correct camera. Arsensio was able to put his worry to bed and create an overall party friendly and memorable promo. He had his Magic J. money shot and all his crazy 80’s dressed team helpers; an informative and fun video to show a crowd.

Clay’s went the more traditional pull at your heart strings route. Rather conventional as far as charity PSA go. I was half expecting Sarah McLachlan music at any moment…

Clay still freaked out about needing to see sketches before approving the mural. Last week I was kind of annoyed by his lack of trust in Debbie, but after all Debbie’s complaining on this episode about it, I started scratching my head like, seriously we live in the era of smart phones! I mean really, why can’t this artist snap a pic of her sketch real quick and call it a day?! Pull up a link to her online portfolio, somewhere online has to be an example of her work! Two seconds of our lives to make everyone happy. That was awfully odd in how long that drama played out.

Once it was sorted out (pictures were emailed over and finally Clay could take a sigh of relief that she wasn’t the graffiti tat artist of something!). Interestingly enough, this infamous mural wasn’t the most amazing thing ever. It simply tied in with their carnival theme and therefore had appropriate carnival imagery on it, some little kids on rides, hot air balloons. Totally cute, okay, but nothing to share a business card over. Jeez. Plus the darn thing took forever! To make sure the art was completed without wet paint sign accompaniments, Clay and his slew of former competitors had to join in throwing paint on that big wall. Clay in a trash bag with a paint brush: hilarious.

As I just mentioned, the party theme on Aiken’s team was carnival style. Aubrey was put in charge of its overall creation. And it was pretty great actually. Lots of different activities, and not clique corny ones, but a mixture of fun actives that were informational in their use with disabled children. They all tied in so well. She throws a great party that one. Visually there was a lot to see and physically do. I loved when the Trump family arrives and Debbie Gibson is hula-hooping while spinning plates on sticks (a real double multiple threat that one!)!

Arsenio tasked party coordination to the Real Housewives teammate, Teresa. She loves to throw a fancy shindig. The glitz the glam, the pretty finger food, and shiny slickness. Yeah it looked sleek and all, but what’s so memorable about a glamorous room where 90% of the activity itinerary involves talking to the stranger (or friend you brought) next to you? That’s why parties like that involve so much alcohol I think, to distract you from the fact that you aren’t actually doing anything! (Boy was there a lot of alcohol…!) Team Arsenio was party theme-less, so I’d tally that up in Clay’s favor.

Both teams did well. the comedy was funny. The singing was good.

Arsenio did have a notable edge in the number of celebrity check givers—two check from Jay Leno, Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Georg Lopez, Jimmy Kimmel, those deep pocketed comedians didn’t give nearly as generously as all the camps on Team Aiken (even Lisa L. on Arsensio’s team came through with a check for $10, 000!) In the boardroom Arsenios’s raising of $167,100, wasn’t nearly as exciting as Clay’s $301,500.

At the end of the night Arsenio (ROBBED!!) was crowned the winner. And collected the $250,000 prize. (insert semi fake yay! Here…)

Anyway, a few minutes after with winner declaration, and also during the “live finale”, Clay and Arsenio preformed a duet together to “Lean on Me.”? Hmmm. I don’t know why though. I just don’t know. I for one wasn’t biting at the reins to hear Arsenio Hall sing.

Speaking of things I don’t really understand, what exactly does the celebrity apprentice do upon “being hired”? What have the regular apprentices gone on to do after winning their title too? I know that one Rancic fella went on to marry Giuliana from the E! channel…

Anyway, and that’s it! Season 12 of the Apprentice done and check!

Photo Credit: NBC